Air New Zealand has a long history of producing offbeat safety videos. In the past, they've ranged from the funny to the quirky to the grating. Now, they’ve produced another one. This time it features the All Blacks, New Zealand’s all-conquering rugby machine.

And next time your flying Air New Zealand, you’d better watch it - even if you hate the All Blacks.  Air New Zealand have booted their passengers off their planes for not watching their safety videos.

Rugby union, for the uninitiated, is the best and finest football code on earth. The All Blacks, New Zealand’s national team, are inarguably the best rugby union team on the planet. Unlike the Wallabies, the Springboks or the Lions, whose fortunes all tend to rise and fall, the All Blacks are consistently excellent.  

The Rugby World Cup is on in Japan throughout September 2019 and the safety video was made to mark this. The All Blacks can expect to jet up to Tokyo in comfort, as Air New Zealand sends its 787-9 Dreamliners up to Narita. 

You can check out the four-minute new All Blacks safety video below;

A long and fabled history of offbeat safety videos

Air New Zealand has a solid reputation for its service and cabin quality. But their safety videos can be polarising.

Katie Parker, writing for Radio New Zealand has produced a list of Air New Zealand safety videos. Some of them she describes as “traumatic” - which is on the money.  It set me to waste thirty minutes of my life watching all of them on YouTube this morning - strictly for the purposes of research for this story.

Of course, not everyone is going to like every video. Their appeal is pretty subjective. The 2009 “naked” safety video sent me reeling. It’s my melancholy duty to report that the title is blatantly misleading because  I discovered there is no nakedness at all in it - just an awful lot of cheesy perkiness.

In 2011, some advertising guru had the bright idea of using a furry little critter called Rico as their star in a safety video. If you owned Rico you’d take him to the vet’s to be de-sexed quick smart.

Around the same time, the airline rolled out a highly camp Richard Symons safety video. This one I liked. 

The Air New Zealand safety videos really hit the big time when they produced their Lord of The Rings Middle Earth safety videos about five years ago. That particular clip has accrued 20 million views.

Then there was a safety video starring Beat Grylls made in 2013. The following year, in 2014, a safety video was produced using Sports Illustrated models. I have no idea how they got away with that one.

This was followed up by a riff on the Men in Black movie franchise using All Blacks, and includes the immortal Ritchie McGaw. It’s really really good - cool, slick, and witty. Hands down winner.

You can watch it below.

Final thoughts

Frankly, I find the new All Blacks safety video a little too busy but I do enjoy the George Gregan gag at the one minute mark. And who doesn't appreciate seeing a lawyer been subtly mocked? 

And while we’re on the All Blacks. If you aren’t familiar with them or New Zealand in general, they do something called the Haka. The Haka is an old Maori dance used to prepare for war. The All Blacks do it on-field prior to every game. It’s a mighty thing to see.

The All Blacks won that game against the French - by one point.

Got a favorite (or least favorite) safety video?  Let us know and post a comment.