If you have been cabin crew or a flight attendant (or know one!) you might be able to recognize these tell-tale signs that you, or they, have been flying for too long. This is just for humor purposes, but some are really true!

Tricks of the trade

For anyone who has been cabin crewing for more than a little while, these will likely resonate in an eye-rolling way...

  • You never unpack your suitcase - it's just wash clothes and replace back in suitcase - repeat.
  • All of your pens have a hotel name on them.
  • You always use the 24-hour clock.
  • Ask cabin crew for directions, and they will 'point' the direction with both hands - It's not just for the exits.
  • You care about the news in a city that is thousands of miles away.
  • When spelling out something, you use the aviation alphabet.
  • You regularly find grocery items from different countries in your suitcase, a supermarket visit is a must!
  • You always set your alarm ten minutes early in case the hotel forgets your wake-up call. (at home, you set two alarms!)
flight attendant safety demonstration
The safety demonstration is also useful when you are asked for directions. Photo: Miguel Discart via Creative Commons.

Airplane life

  • You can eat a three-course meal standing up, within three minutes.
  • You get excited to see a different shape of ice cube.
  • From 10 meters away you know that that suitcase will not fit in the overhead locker.
  • You can't believe passengers walk into the lavatory with bare feet or socks on.
  • Your hips are covered in bruises from elbows and arm rests.
  • There will be a few unopened food items from the passengers' leftover meal tray in your crew bag.
  • You look forward to passengers leaving the cabin, so that you can see what books or magazines they left behind.
Emirates cabin crew
There will no doubt be snacks and magazines in those crew bags. Photo: Emirates

Jet-lag confusion

  • You have to rely on hotel stationary to tell you where you are, when you wake up.
  • If you are in a supermarket queue, you look for the crew line (like at airport security).
  • Every time you see a fire extinguisher you want to check that the gauge is 'in the green.'
  • At home, you change to your galley shoes to cook dinner.
  • You wish you had a jet engine in the next room, so at least you could sleep at night.

Home or away?

  • You look at the ceiling when the doorbell chimes, thinking it's a crew call.
  • You look for the square button on the left-hand side to flush the lavatory.
  • You take out hot meals from the oven with your bare hands.
  • Your home starts to resemble a hotel room - ever folded the toilet paper in a triangle?
  • There is a selection of miniature hotel toiletries in your bathroom.
  • At home, you open the bathroom door slowly in case someone forgot to lock it.

Cabin crew and flight attendants will completely understand this list and probably have experienced many of these phenomena. The long hours, jet lag and repetition of duties can sometimes have a lasting effect and result in confusion at the best of times, but that can be funny too! If there are any cabin crew or flight attendants reading this, they can probably add at least another five items.